Pee Arrs, gather round.
You’re not going to like this, but it has to be said. Putting your client’s product and/or service in the introductory paragraph is what has that grumpy hack hitting “delete” faster than a politician authorising a tender for a family member.
Products and services aren’t news. And if they are, they usually don’t require media releases. People will hear about them from their friends.
If you want media coverage for your clients, you have to write your releases in a form that journalists recognise. And that means it needs to sound like news.
Study newswriting. Understand the basic structure of a news story. Figure out what your pet journalist needs from you and supply that.
And if you don’t know how, get in touch with me on email@example.com. Because luckily for you, I have just the training course to help you with that.